One of most demanding areas is our spiritual solutions for marriage and relationships. Couples that might live together for a very long time and find themselves in a loop of difficulty in a relationship that they don’t know how to get out of and have peace in the home.
At least 50% of the time the reasons are not the man or the women themselves. The cause for the disagreements and arguments in the relationship come from third party forces.
If you look at the first level as financial stress or job stress with many out of work, that creates pressure on a wife or husband and one side is enough to minimize the patience level and the arguments and the fights come right after that.
The second level is third party pressure from family, friends and sometimes even kids that get in between couples from simple things as spreading negative words and giving strong opinions into a couples relationship which can be a strong influence on one side as he still loves and cares and thinks of his family as important. But on the other hand he has his marriage partner that is a big part of his life.
You need to know that although we find strong spiritual solutions that work wonderfully in the family to create peaceful solutions and eliminate the negativity to bring the peace. Still a person cannot react in conflict with what he is implementing or asking for. I mainly mean taking actions in reality that are the opposite of bringing peace will interfere with and stop the influence the spiritual actions have.
As you know, men and women think differently, they look differently, they react differently, their priorities are different, their emotions are different. So how can you take two individuals so far from each other and bring them together.
One of the aspects of married life is called Shlom Bayit, peace in the home. Its very important to understand that peace is not right or wrong, its the opposite of justice.
Right and wrong is who is right and who is wrong and if the house is going to based on a courtroom dynamic there will never be peace. Peace means “I disagree with you but I will go with it”, “You’re wrong, but it’s O.K.”. This is what we call peace.
So to enhance family life and the husband and wife relationship, we have to be careful from making a very big mistake, never be pre-judgmental and opinionated; because we are different.
So what is the best tip for a husband and wife in married life. A husband and a wife have different needs from each other and what they want from each other. The husband wants his wife to appreciate him. If the wife says to her husband “you are the best, G-d gave me the best husband, I appreciate what you are doing for me.” Even the small things. The token of appreciation is crucial for the husband to feel that he is good in married life.
Women need something totally different. They need for the husband to make them feel secure. To secure them emotionally, to secure them financially, and verbally. Any kind of security that the husband is going to bring is going to enhance his married life and family.
You don’t have to look for who is right and who is wrong; this is not the job of married life. Married life is how to live together, two different people that grew up in different houses, different cultures, sometimes different countries, different mentalities, but now they are one. And they have to make it work together.
To get married is not difficult, but to stay married with peace and harmony is really the challenge of our generation.
Hopefully, we can help you can bring happiness and understanding to your married life. Feel free to contact us with any questions and advice.