Very often people don’t look for the right things or don’t know what they should look for when dating and looking for their potential spouse.
Often they look just at external things, like whether they are good looking, have a good career or income, do they want to have a family, do they treat me well. These are all important things when you are looking for marriage but the internal qualities and character traits of the person are much more important.
For a single person that is going through the dating process and wants to get married it can be hard to know in the beginning how the relationship will look 10 or 20 years later. To make a commitment to marriage or not? Will we get along? Will he or she will change and no longer be the person you married.
Even if you feel totally in love, like you met your soulmate, you can still have doubts whether this is the right man for you or if this is the women that is going to make you happy the rest of your life.
Divorce and separations are at an all time high in today’s day and age. Many people have seen at least one family break apart or have grown up in a broken home and know first hand of the difficulties in maintaining a healthy marriage.
So many people don’t know what a healthy marriage even looks like or if it exists.
You never know what life is going to bring. We wish everyone the best but we see couples that have to deal with difficulties they did not ever expect; all of a sudden one of the spouses has difficulty making living, they have been trying to get pregnant and it’s not working for them, family members get ill and need healing and care, there is a lot of challenges in life that you will need to face together.
The couple needs to know that they can get along, not just when they are going to dinners and concerts but also when they have to deal with maintaining a home, raising children and handling the real difficulties and challenges that life brings.
One of the most important things to note is that when you get married you are starting to build something together and when you build something together with someone else you go through a lot of decision making and actions that you need to take together.
You need to know that the person you are choosing is someone that you will be able to get along with and cooperate with even when things get hard.
That when things get hard and external things are putting pressure on your marriage or even when you are not getting along in your marriage you are going to be able to work together to make things better and not create more challenges by blaming each other and fighting with each other.
The most important things to look for in your potential spouse are:
Compassion – A person that has compassion, he sees the world with eyes of mercy, that you have to care and love and give to the ones that have less, including your neighbor or even to the one that you don’t know. These are internal feelings he or she has naturally toward others, he sees them with his heart and feels for them.
Those feelings of compassion will go a long way in life for a spouse, including when you have disagreements between you and challenges, his internal feelings will guide him to feel your feelings and connect rather than criticize and disconnect.
The compassion will always be in your favor and in your family’s strength because it doesn’t matter who is right or who is wrong, when there is compassion there is a desire to do the good first and to bring people together not blame and tear apart.
In dating and relationships always look for someone that has this compassion inside him and you should be able to see it clearly in his behavior. Don’t just hear compassion, look also for actions of compassion. More than that, not just compassion for human beings but for animals, even a small ant that comes.
If a person has compassion for G-d’s creations he has real compassion and he will show compassion for you and the family throughout your marriage.
Kindness – Kindness is a type of value and a personal quality that he gives away to others from a good and willing heart. He doesn’t have to or is not obligated to give but he gives anyway, just to do a good deed.
In a relationship look for a person that has kindness in his actions. Look for a person that gives. If you are dating someone, look that your partner opens his wallet and pays for you without counting. Look for a partner in a relationship that gives to the stranger for no reason and is not always trying to get back something or get more for himself.
Kindness goes a long way in life, in a thousand different variations and scenarios that in the end if the actions and quality is one of kindness, everyone benefits. When you are in a relationship or you are going to get married to someone you want to make sure that you are kind to him and he will be kind to you.
There is a story in the bible of Abraham sending his helper Eliezer to go get a wife for Isaac. He tells Eliezer to seek out a women that is very kind and benevolent. From this we learn that kindness is a very important quality to have in a spouse.
A spouse that displays compassion and kindness toward others will certainly have such qualities when dealing with you as a spouse, which will be critically important when you are going through life together and dealing with a lot of tough issues.
Who will you rely on when you are hurt or troubled but your spouse, and knowing that he is able to respond with caring and understand is critical because it will allow you to maintain a strong close connection as a couple.
You will not feel that you need to go to friends or family members for compassion and understanding, you will have it in your home.
How to Attract The Right Relationship?
Relationships are a two way road. You can share the road between 2 people like 2 vehicles and everything will be in joy. On the other hand sometimes although you share the same road there will be accidents or a crash (G-d forbid) as someone did not act in accordance and in favor of nature’s rules.
When this happens there are conflicts between forces. Yes, you are a spiritual force and your dating partner, relationship or marriage partner he also has a spiritual force and you are sharing in life the same road and destiny.
Working with the right spiritual rules will put you both on a smooth highway of a successful loving relationship. Working against or not in favor of the spiritual rules will cause bumps, accidents, falling parts and crashes that G-d forbid will lead to separation.
In the real world, nobody today teaches those spiritual rules that we described and learned, and they focus more on the technical external side, the visual part of the type of coat that you wear, your makeup, shoes and totally ignore the internal spiritual hidden sources that makes the person feel and think and act as a result.
There is no school for that or any system that will tell you what to look for in order to have a successful marriage; how to find it, how to recognize it and how to maintain it. for a lifetime so there will be a very minimum of bumps and no accidents or crashes.
If you ever want to learn how to choose a person, to see the hidden part of the person you are going to meet or dating, things that other people don’t see when they meet others you have to go through this program to learn the signs and the science of relationships in order to ensure that you are in the right relationship and he is the right person to be with.
Our 2 programs mainly focuses on:
- To take actions, not theory, actions so that you will meet the right one or more that the right one will show up for you. Dating and finding your soulmate.
- To know how to choose the right one. In other words you have to recognize it and feel strongly inside that this the one I want to be with, this is the one I want to marry. It should provide you very strong guidance as to right and wrong feelings. Choose the right relationship for you.